Will a man rob God?

I had a cherished experience with my daughter a few weeks ago. I am moderately ashamed that it has taken me so long to record it, but I have repented, and here I am.


For the past year we have implemented a new chore system with our children - one in which the children do basic everyday chores in order to earn priveleges in the house. Beyond their basic, every day chores, they have weekly chores (typically house-cleaning) that is accomplished on Saturday usually. As a reward for their weekly chores, they earn Bonus Bucks (which are later cashed in at Family Council for money).


The kids have all enjoyed the opportunity to work hard and contribute to beautifying our home, earning money, and spending it as they choose. We try to make a trip down to the valley at least once a month, where they are able to spend their hard earned cash on something of their choice. This has proven to be very rewarding and exciting for them, and in turn has been wonderful for Jason and I to witness.


At Family Council, the children bring three items: their earned Bonus Bucks and Fun Freebies to cash in, their savings banks, their scripture bags (to put their tithing into), and their wallets or purses. Each child takes his/her own place on the couch, anxiously waiting their turn to get "the big bucks". Often there is fighting over who gets to go first and every time, we find a different selection process.


On this particular day, Megan had struck it rich. Our time was very limited on Saturday to clean the house and I told the kids that it was Double Bonus Buck day - meaning that if they worked extra hard and did their jobs REALLY good, that they could receive DOUBLE Bonus Bucks if they did it right the first time! And Megan (bless her soul, that she is so much like me) set out to do her best and earn double for every job. And she did.


Kimberly got to go first this time... we exchanged her bucks and she was content with the few dollar bills that filled her wallet and the loose change that rattled in her zip lock bag inside of her scripture bag. Then it was Tyler's turn. He eagerly came up and was gleaming over the new, crisp dollar that felt like gold in his hand. He, too, loved the dime that filled his scripture bag. Then it was Emma's turn. Getting only a quarter, she didn't really know or understand what she had earned, other than she had money like the big kids. Then Bryson. He cashed in his SIX bonus bucks, figured his 10% tithing, then his 10% savings, and put the rest in his wallet. All the kids moved on to other things.


Megan sat very impatiently, legs crossed on the couch, money from her wallet strung all over the couch. I watched periodically as she counted it over... and over... and over again. Then she would count her bonus bucks. Joy filled her face - with a smile to treasure - as you could see in her eyes that she was proud of her accomplishments. She could hardly wait for her turn. It was as though she was going to burst.


Currently, she had EIGHT dollars in her wallet ($3.00 from Easter Eggs and $5.00 from the Golden Egg) with SIX Bonus Bucks and FOUR Fun Freebies to cash in. All of this would give her $15.00. The last week had been General Conference and the kids hadn't paid tithing on their Easter money yet, so we compiled it all together.


Her face lit up slowly as I handed each new dollar bill to her. Amazed at her big wad, she opted to cash in TEN One Dollar Bills, for a TEN DOLLAR BILL. The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction was written on her face and I felt her joy in my own heart. Routinely, I then asked for one dollar to exchange into four quarters, so that she would be able to put $1.50 in her tithing bag and $1.50 in her savings bank. At first, she willingly handed me the dollar bill to exchange into four quarters. It wasn't until I then asked her how much of the $15.00 she would have to pay to the Lord, that the smile and excitement fell from her face, as she realized that she would have to give up a $1.50 of her money... to the Lord.


I watched as her heart sunk. Her eyes lost their glimmer. Her shoulders fell and her body collapsed on the couch in tears. "It's not fair, Mom." she told me. "Do we have to pay our tithing? I don't want to pay that much in tithing." She continued to bury her head in the couch, still sobbing and frustrated. At that point, I didn't even want to mention that she would need to pay another $1.50 to herself, for her savings. In doing all of that, that would only leave her with $12.00, which apparently was a BIG deal.


She continued to sob. "If I pay my tithing, I can't get the guitar I really want in the valley."


"Guitar?" I asked. "What guitar, Honey?"


"There's a guitar that I really, really want down in the valley. At the store. Kimberly and I saw it. It's $15.00, Mom. If I pay my tithing, then I can't get it." More sobbing and head still buried in the couch.


My first instinct was to tell her 'You are paying it. If you don't, then I won't allow you to earn Bonus Bucks anymore for your chores.' And then I felt the Spirit speak to my heart and guide my words... and eventually my whole conversation with her... which was magical.


A few weeks earlier, a dear friend of mine had shared her testimony about the experience she had had with her own daughter over fasting. The things she shared truly struck a cord with me. I had faced some of the same challenges that she was facing as a mother and I very much admired her response to the challenge - something that I had not thought of to do before. I was saddened to think that I had never thought of and utilized the opportunity to teach the gospel in that way before. It gave me courage and strength to do better... to do more... and to teach my children through the scriptures (rather than through my own words).


"Megan, do you know why we pay tithing?" I asked.


She could barely look up at me, eyes red and swollen, face beaten with tears and trembling with disappointment. "To build temples and churches?" She replied, as more of a question, than an answer. "Mom, we have a temple and we have a church. I don't want to pay it. And I don't have to pay it. It's my choice."


Those words struck me a with bitter chord. How ungrateful she was! Had I not taught her ALL about the principle of tithing. Had I not feasted upon the words in the scriptures and shared with her my own testimony of tithing? Had I only shared the expression that it was a commandment and we just do it - which in itself, is not such a bad thing (strict obedience)? But, for her, she needed more.

Repulsed by her persistence to make the wrong choice, I naturally came back to stripping her of her earning priveleges - if she doesn't want to pay her tithing, then I won't pay her to do her chores anymore. No more rewards. Still chores to do, but no rewards for them, at least not monetary rewards anyway. That didn't go well. She just couldn't get past the $15 guitar that she really wanted, and if she paid her tithing, she wouldn't have enough money to buy it.

I then wanted to show her what a sacrifice paying tithing was. It just so happened that I had cash, and was going to pay my tithing in cash this month. I usually pay via check, but for some reason I had cash to pay - can't really explain why. I went up to my room to get my cash. I layed it on the couch beside her, still hurled up in a pout. "Look, Megan," I said, "This is how much I have to pay for tithing."

Her head lifted and through teary eyes she saw my wad of cash. "Count it. See how much is there. Tell me how much money is there. Then tell me how many guitars you could buy with that much money." I wasn't very patient still, actually rather bugged by her stubborness and unwillingness to do what I said, because it was the right choice. I watched as she rather happily picked up the cash to count it, and as the value got higher, so did the volume and excitement in her voice.

"That's a lot of money, Mom. I could buy a lot of guitars with this much money!"

"I know it's a lot of money. There's a lot of things that I could buy with that money, too... things that I really want. But, guess what? That money isn't mine."

"It's not?" She asked, truly puzzled. "Then whose is it?"

"That belongs to Heavenly Father. It's my tithing money. It's 10% of the money that your Dad earns each month for our family. It's not mine to keep. It's not mine to spend. It's mine to give back to Him, who gives us ALL of our money."

"You're gonna pay all of this for tithing? Holy cow, that's a lot of money."

"Yes, I know. But, I just remember it's not mine, so it's easy for me to give it back." I could tell that my response and tangible lesson was still not reaching her.

"Well I'm glad that I don't have to think about paying that much in tithing. I really wouldn't want to pay my tithing then." Long pause. "Mom, I really, really, really, really don't want to pay my tithing. Do I really have to?"

My thoughts were lost in the repetitious "really's" that she uttered. I could tell that she still wasn't grasping the concept of what I was trying to teach her. I didn't want to force her to spend her own, hard earned money the way that I wanted her to. I wanted her to pay her tithing, because she wanted to. And for some reason, my mind went back to her as a little child...

From infancy, she was far different from her older, mellow, easy-going brother, Bryson. She was not soothed by the binkie, she did not like loud places, she loved to climb, she would follow directions exactly as they were given ('Megan, go put that in your room'. Only to find everything that I had asked her to take to her room in the doorway! Yep, she had taken it to her room alright. And that's as far as it got. I had failed to instruct her with specific directions and thus had not gotten the results that I was seeking.) She threw tantrums often and would send herself to her room to calm down, slamming the door behind her. She would question most things that I said and my authority to make the rules. She's never been afraid to keep the rules... but only when she knows for herself, that what she is doing is the right thing. I couldn't tell her the sky was blue and she would just know it. I couldn't tell her that the stove was hot, and she would believe me. She had to experience it, to know for herself.

She is very sensitive to the spirit. We have discovered, through her endeavors at school, that she is our little missionary. Now mind you, she is as stubborn as I will get out, and we butt heads more often that we nestle them together, but I have witnessed the power of her stubborness... in the ability to stand firm in what she believes to be true and right, when she knows for herself.

I stared into her big, blue-grey eyes and my heart was calmed and the words began to flow. Somehow, the Lord had prepared me for this exact moment - through the testimonies of others in teaching through the scriptures, and now I had my opportunity to do such that. Again, it was magical. And as we read together from 3rd Nephi 24:8-10, I let her read to me the verses and we talked about each one and what they meant, one verse at a time.

We weren't half way into the 2nd verse (verse 9), when I saw the light within her change... her whole demeanor and disposition; she sat up a little taller and with more confidence. I was witnessing the scriptures giving her life because of the truth which they bore.

"Oh man, I guess I better pay my tithing, Mom," she interrupted herself in reading.

"Why's that, Megan?" I asked, already knowing what her response was going to consist of.

"Because I don't want to steal from Heavenly Father! Stealing is really bad. If we don't pay our tithing, we are stealing from Heavenly Father, and bad things might happen to us... you know, like bad consequences for bad, really bad choices... and that's a bad choice."

"Heavenly Father has given us everything we have, he has provided a way for Dad to have a job to help us pay for all of the things that we enjoy. The only thing He asks us in return is to show our gratitude, by giving Him back 10%. We get to keep the other 90%! I think that is pretty thoughtful of Him, given that none of it really belongs to us in the first place. When we earn money, he only asks us to give 10% of it back to him in return." As I spoke, her heart was opening and a smile cracked her lips.

I continued, seeing the eagerness in her eyes to feast on more truth. "If we don't pay our tithing, honey, we are robbing God. We are stealing from Him, who gave us EVERYTHING we have, and yes, are making a bad choice. It's a choice that we have the ability to control. We can choose, and if we choose the right, Heavenly Father will bless us! Let's read the next verse..."

Verse 10 '...and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.'

"Now what do you think this scripture is telling us?" I ask.

When you see the tender faith of a young child, who is ripening and preparing for baptism, you see a burning desire to learn the will of her Heavenly Father, because she knows that she is a child of God, and she knows He has a plan for her. "I picture a big cloud up in the sky, you know in heaven, that is a huge, ginormous window. I picture beautiful curtains swaying in the warm breeze as the window is opened."

"Uh huh." I am listening and following her picture, eyes closed to match hers.

"And then the blessings come down on us, kinda like when you get goose pimples on your arms and feel good and tingly inside. You know those goose pimples you get? I get them sometimes when something feels really good inside that I did."

"Mmm hmmm. And what do you think Heavenly Father meant when he used the word pour in this scripture?" I asked her, anxiously awaiting her description, which I had not prepared myself for.

"Well it says that we won't have enough room for all of the blessings. Is that like a lot of water pouring out? Kind of like a waterfall!" She said with excitement, answering her own question. "Waterfalls are so beautiful. The sparkling water flows down, and not just a little bit of water, but a lot of water. And waterfalls don't ever stop either, the water is always falling. Ooh, man, does that mean we will always get blessings by paying our tithing? YEEEAAAH! We will, huh? Oh my goodness, and the blessings will keep coming and coming and if they were going into cups, we would run out of cups!" Now, I absolutely loved her simplicity and connection with this principle of the gospel.

"What? So, the first blessing we have is that Heavenly Father allows Dad to have a job to earn all of the stuff we enjoy, only asks for a tiny bit back, and if we are willing to give it back, then he blesses us MORE! And not just kind of blesses us more, but if our blessings are like waterfalls from heaven, we wouldn't have enough cups to fill up! What a fantastic plan!" My eyes filled with tears as she sat next to me, huddled together with the scriptures in our laps, and embracing the moment before us.

I proceded to give her a few examples of times when I had been blessed, even poured upon with blessings by the "waterfall from the heavenly windows", that were so great that I couldn't find a cup big enough. With each example I shared, her excitement grew. She couldn't wait to pay her tithing now. It was all I could do to finish the conversation, help her fill out her tithing slip, and get to church, so she could give it to the bishop!

"I am always gonna pay my tithing now, Mom. I am so grateful that you let us do chores, so that we can earn money to pay tithing. And if we have some extra, and we save it, then we get to buy stuff that we want. You're the best mom, ever." She squeezed me tight, gathered her bank, and purse, and tithing envelope proudly filled with her $1.50, and went up to her room.

My blessing had already come, and I hadn't even paid my tithing yet. But, paying my tithing has never been a choice... it's what I do. The blessing was to have a sweet, tender moment with my daughter... to teach her... to testify to her of the truth of the gospel, and to share experience of living it, and how it brings happiness! The blessing to hear her say the words that are harder for her to say (that I am the best mom ever). Wow! Now that is a blessing!

Though she won't fully understand the demands of finances and the ability to satisfy them until later in life, she will have a testimony of tithing now... and will hopefully know for herself that paying tithing really isn't a choice we make, but rather something we do, in obedience and as an expression of gratitude. And by so doing, are continually blessed by our loving Heavenly Father - the windows of heaven are open, the curtains are swaying in the warm breeze, and the sparkly waterfall is filling our cup. My cup, at this point, runneth over, and I eagerly wait for hers as well.